I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
