One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
