I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
