I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
