So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
