Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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