Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
