doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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