C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
