he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
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....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
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Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!