I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"