i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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