Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
