Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Welp...herpes.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
