but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
