this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
