Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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