Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
