I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
