That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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