So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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