I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
