I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
