Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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