what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
