Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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