I'm lost and stupid without you.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
