I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My bed smells like the plague
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
