The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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