I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
