At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
