WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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