Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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