Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
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On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
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this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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