hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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