My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Barsexuality is the new black.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
they're like a gay fantastic four
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
