Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just want nice things and good sex
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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