And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
