The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
