Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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