you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
