Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
