I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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