Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
