just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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