Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
