I wannas sexs uuuuu
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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