Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you didnt know i had herpes?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
