Me. At least after what I've been through.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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