Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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