It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
im holly from the hills drunk
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
