I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
