Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
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Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
you made out with another girl for some wings
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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