I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
vagina is talking i cant
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
