Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
