last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
