Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
