I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
