Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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