Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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