Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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