Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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