The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
