If i come over, it means nothing
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
