he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
