Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
