i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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