i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
