Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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