11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
