I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
