There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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