But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
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A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
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he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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